Building a rewarding social life is something that comes fairly easy to a small percentage of society. A much higher percentage finds the idea completely daunting.
If you are the latter, this article is for you. I bet you will agree, it’s not as easy as just placing some phone calls or texts and inviting some friends to come over. There’s a significant amount of internal obstacles that must be overcome before you can even get to that point .
As I’m writing this, I’m realizing that I have only addressed those that struggle with this. But then, I realized the people that don’t struggle wouldn’t be reading this article anyway. They’re already too busy enjoying a social life that they love!
OK, back to the internal obstacles. Perhaps, you have some limiting beliefs. Or maybe you’re very challenged to get out of your comfort zone. It could be that you feel like you don’t belong no matter where you are. It could be that you don’t feel like you are good enough. These are only a couple of examples of what might be standing in your way .
If this or something like this is you, the first crucial step is to work through your limiting beliefs, self-doubts, and self-sabotage. This step must be conquered, at least to some degree before you will have success at the next crucial step. This is the hardest step, but necessary.
If these internal obstacles feel bigger than you, seek professional help. No one lives on an island, and you absolutely do not have to do this on your own. The truth is, if you could do it on your own, you would’ve already done it.
Once you’ve gotten the help that you need, and you’ve overcome those internal obstacles, you’re now ready for crucial step number two.
It’s time to take some action! The beautiful thing here is you can choose any action you like… from the smallest to the largest. You could reach out and invite one person to have coffee with you. I suggest that you start out small and work your way up. We’ve all heard the proverbial phrase “crawl before you walk”.
After you’ve had a couple of coffee meetings, get a little bit further out of your comfort zone and plan an activity with multiple people.
So often, I hear people make the excuse that they’re not good at entertaining. They don’t cook or they don’t know how to host a party.
KISS… this stands for “keep it simple silly”.
Dwight and I entertain frequently. We are always looking at ways to simplify things. We want our examples to be extremely replicable for those that are less experienced with entertaining.
One of our favorite things to do is super simple and anyone can do it. Reach out to a handful of friends and invite them over on the evening of your choice. Tell them that you’re keeping things very simple. No cooking and no cleaning. Suggest that they drop by their favorite restaurant on the way and pick up the dish of their choice with a drink.
Everyone shows up at your house with food and beverage in hand. You can seat them around the dining table or let them sit in chairs in the living room and eat from their laps.
So, maybe you have this excuse that you don’t live in a big enough or nice enough place to do that. That’s exactly what it is… An excuse! One of our favorite mentors is a man who moved to Manhattan, not knowing anyone. He lived in an apartment the size of a postage stamp. He invited people over on a regular basis and in less than a year, he had a social network in New York City that wouldn’t quit.
"I’m suggesting that you throw out all of your excuses, and just do it!"
I’m suggesting that you throw out all of your excuses, and just do it! No one cares about how big your house is or isn’t. No one cares how nice it is or isn’t. All they care about is getting to know you and the social opportunity.
It’s an established fact that we are living with a global epidemic of loneliness and isolation. You can choose to be part of that loneliness and isolation or you can get out of your comfort zone and make a commitment to create a social life that you love. Which choice will you make?
If you choose to seek professional help, we offer a no-obligation discovery call. You can reach us at info@authenticfriendsandadventures.com
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